Summer is typically a time to pack up the kids and wife (or that crazy girl in your life that doesn’t understand what a restraining order means) and hit the road to some far away destination to make memories and get sand in your shorts. If you have my luck though, that just doesn’t happen to you. Not that sand in your pants thing, that happens at work every once in a while.. Anyway, what I’m was saying is instead of hoping and dreaming for a vacation when you’re as broke as I am, try hitting up these locations in games to get your own escape from reality.
Columbia (Bioshock Infinite)

Instead of visiting crowded beaches or entire theme parks dedicated to giant costumes with soulless eyes that are based on slightly creepy cartoons; why not visit a city in the sky ruled by a borderline sacrilegious alternate timeline version of yourself that has made very common human rights against the law? Sounds like a blast right? RIGHT?! Run along through the eyes of Booker Dewitt as he tries to save his (unknown to him at first) daughter Elizabeth as they travel through different dimensions in the hopes of sorting all this malarchy (the good kind, not Adam Sandler’s Pixels malarchy) out.


Travel to Columbia now for ten bucks

Banoi (Dead Island)

If you plan to head down to the beach this year, why not make it an international trip and visit the island of Banoi. Located near New Zealand visitors will experience luxury at its finest. From a first class hotel with a nearly overly friendly staff, too an exquisite night life at local clubs we’re sure you’ll have nothing but a pleasant time on our little, secluded paradise. Oh also please disregard any rumors of a plague like sickness, or reports of cannibals loose in the area.


Find out just who do you voodoo for ten dollars!

Bright Falls (Alan Wake)

Are you looking a small town escape from the big city headaches? Look no further than our quaint little town of Bright Falls located in the woods of Washington (or some shit) where nothing bad ever happens. We have many wonderful locals to visit, from the KBF-Fm Radio Station to Lover’s Peak there’s something for every one in Bright Falls. If you happen to visit at the right time, world renowned author Alan Wake may even be around to give you a tour of the city. Be warned though, strange things tend to happen when he is around. We once lost an entire cabin in the lake some how, no damage was visibly done to the area but the cabin was just gone. He’s also obsessed with light and seems to see things that aren’t around when surrounded by darkness. Please visit the town information center located in The Cauldron Lake Lodge if you are interested in a tour of our lovely city (we can arrange other tour guides).


Grab your bags and head to Bright Falls for an easy on your wallet price of ten bucks

Berlin (Zombie Army Trilogy)
Berlin. The Heart of the Fatherland, and also home to some of the most dark and fascinating history in the world. Did you know Hitler once found an ancient artifact that helped aid his army in their new found goal? Hitler didn’t want to divide the world any more, he had a new hope for mankind, he wanted to unleash his Plan Z on the world. Plan Z instead of dividing the races of the world hoped to turn us all into one undead nation under the Fuhrer. By using the mystical powers of an unknown device Hitler located in an underground tomb he managed to turn most of Germany’s population into various undead super soldiers. The unrelenting zombie tidal wave engulfed Nazi Germany and claimed nearly every one. It seemed like the world was doomed, but a renegade group of Snipers comprised of soldiers from all over the world fought their way through to Hitler’s compound and rumor has it killed a 20 foot ( or close to it, the point is he was a huge mofo) Hitler whom had been consumed by the supernatural powers. Had it not been for those four brave souls who knows how WWII would have actually panned out.


Head back in time for forty five bucks, way less than the government would charge you for time travel.

Italy (Assassin’s Creed II and Revelations)

Just before the renaissance of Italy a hooded vigilante began helping citizens and brought justice to those who deserved it. Thanks to the entertainment company Abstergo Entertainment (responsible for bringing us Assassin’s Creed IV Black Flag) you can take a tour of the free running, hidden blade wielding, hooded vigilante that was Ezio Auditore Da Firenze. Experience the Assassin’s life from beginning until death’s sweet embrace. If you’re lucky the trip may even bring you to find the origins of the mystical Apple of Eden our young Assassin used later on in his life to effortlessly dispatch his enemies and bend their minds to his will.


For as low as five dollars witness the revolution of Italy

Washington D.C. (Pay Day 2)

What better way to visit our nation capitol than to don a suit and mask and rob the place blind? From small time jewelry robberies, to full out shootouts inside casinos as well as double crossing some upstanding felons who want to give you massive amounts of cash for some meth you and your crew cooked up having the Pay Day 2 experience of Washington D.C. sure beats going to the real place. Just make sure to bring three friends along, we rented three other suits and we want to get our money’s worth!


For twenty dollars grab some friends and take on Washington like only true crime lords can

Places to avoid this summer:

These places should be avoided at all cost.

Arizona, Death Valley, The Sahara Desert, The African wastelands of Far Cry 2, Danny Sexbang’s bedroom, Disneyland, SeaWorld, and any where the sun shines.


Six destinations to beat the summer heat (as well as several to avoid like the plague) and miss all those crowds and unintelligent people. I hope you have enjoyed this quick little guide of places to visit to save some cash this year. I’d call it a staycation but I hate infantile words that were made up by soccer moms. If you have any places from games you recommend visiting, please let us know in the comments below.