Well once again Cupid’s month to shine is upon us. Well technically by the time you read this it will have come and gone, but c’est ce que c’est. That is french for ‘it is what it is’, the language of love. I just romanced the shit out of you, you’re welcome. Whether you have someone special to spend Valentine’s Day with or decided to go it alone for another year the video games below are bound to bring you some joy. Well until all the Valentine’s Day candy goes on sale and you end up in a sugar coma. 

Resident Evil 7: Biohazard (Xbox One, PlayStation 4, PC)

Nothing says “Love” like being welcomed in to your girlfriend’s creepy new family like a punch to the face. For those of you whom did not get the reference, Resident Evil 7: Biohazard starts with the protagonist going to look for his girlfriend who had gone missing a few years prior. Without giving away too much our dear Mia has more or less been brain washed in to being a part of the cannibal freak family that is part of the main story to the game. She hulks out a few times thanks to the infection that encompasses the game’s plot. If any of you out there are going through some heart ache pertaining to a relationship you may find parts of this game a little therapeutic. You get in to a few near death matches with your now ex-girlfriend, dear old daddy, and even the mother. Mia comes at you a few times all roided out, you hit her with an ax, shoot her a few times then you start to feel better about that time you called her a bitch to her face. Then she gets a chainsaw, but it’s totally okay because you hit daddy with a sports car and set him on fire. Resident Evil 7: Biohazard won’t cost you as much as a Valentine’s Day dinner or therapy, but it will still run you about sixty bucks.

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Army of Two: The Devil’s Cartel (Xbox 360, PlayStation 3)

While it definitely is not a perfect game, Army of Two: The Devil’s Cartel is a pretty solid way to spend Valentine’s Day with your co-op buddy of choice. You can play online or snuggle up on the love seat and watch the chaos unfold as Rios and his band of Mercs that are on the straight and narrow take on Elliot Salem and his own team he formed after he went rogue and left the agency. It definitely works as a means to an end for the trilogy, kind of a bland one when Salem shows up. I feel like after everything Salem and Rios have been through it was the worst possible outcome story wise for Salem to just show up as the bad guy. Maybe had the game actually been about Salem losing it and then going rogue it would have worked a little better. In any light, if you need something to do with that someone special on Valentine’s Day drop the fifteen bucks and get a copy at your local Game Stop.

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Left 4 Dead (Xbox One Compatible, Xbox 360, PC)

Nothing brings people together like complete and total chaos! If you are looking to prove to your loved one you would gladly fight an army of flesh hungry infected humans, but do not actually want to do so then look no further than Valve’s co-op based shooter Left 4 Dead. If for some reason you have been living under a rock and have missed the two installments in to the series, it all boils down to this. The world went to hell and now the survivors and left to fight back the endless masses of infected humans. Most of them are normal looking aside from the paler than paper skin, blood leaking from orifices it shouldn’t and the ability to sprint without tiring. There are a few special infected that will test you and your partner’s ability to persevere. Tanks will rush in like a brick shit house and send your team flying. Hunters will tackle you and rip your intestines in to confetti. Smokers, will slip you the tongue in a most unflattering matter as it rips you away from your friends and chokes you to death (so many Fifty Shades Darker jokes, so little time). Last but not least, the dreaded cry of the Witch usually means certain death for the unskilled players. You definitely do not want to get in to a tickle fight with this young lady as she possesses claws that would make Wolverine quiver. For as low as twenty bucks, you and that special somebody can wade through the undead masses and take on the apocalypse. Just make sure to save your health pack for them so you score some brownie points.

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Fallout Shelters (Mobile Devices, Xbox One, PC)

Count this game firmly under the guilty pleasure category. I generally do not like the genre of  ‘god mode’ games, in which players generally create and oversee the life span of a world. Be that as it may, the wonderfully simplistic styling of Fallout Shelters has managed to weasel it’s way in to my heart. Once the vault is set up and you are given the gist of the controls, dwellers will begin arriving at your Fallout Shelter. As the overseer of the vault it is your job to assign them to the proper place, which you decide via their stats. After all the dwellers are assigned you begin the task of up keeping your vault. Energy, food, and water will all be produced and as the overseer it is your job to make sure the occupants produce enough to keep themselves happy. As the ruler of your domain you need to add buildings as the number of people in your vault grows. You can breed dwellers to create more, send some out in to the world to gather resources, and must periodically hold back raiders from attacking.  Aside from the simplistic game play, the best part of the game is it is completely free no matter what you decide to play it on.

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Pick of the Month: Sniper Elite 4 (Xbox One, PlayStation 4, PC)

While Rebellion was kind enough to send me a code early, the game is out the fourteenth for sixty dollars. What better way to spend it that crawling around World War 2 Italy taking out several of those closest to the world’s most hated dictator, Hitler. I have spent a lovely amount of time with the game and it has been a very solid experience. The sniping feels familiar while new additives like accounting for bullet drop and the x-ray kills are as gory and enjoyable as ever. Rebellion does a fantastic job of making stealth a must in this entry in to the franchise. The sprawling areas are riddled with enemies that not only will hunt you down if they catch you shooting more than twice from the same area but are absolutely ruthless. Case in point I spent an hour and a half crawling around the first area, I missed a crucial shot on a target and several enemies closed in on me and began shooting worse yet enemy rifle men opened fire as well. Needless to say I died and had to reload a quick save from earlier. Look for the game out soon, and be on the look out for my review to drop here on Gamer Assault Weekly.

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Whether you are as lucky as I am this February to be around someone you love, or you’re flying solo I recommend grabbing some of these games. If not for spending time with those close to you then it sure as hell beats the alternative of sitting in the dark or being the third wheel at some lame dinner that you made your friends feel like they had to bring you to. Seriously don’t be the third wheel.

About The Author

Allen S
Editorial/Reviews Team, Manager

I started gaming when I was seven years old. I started my own game studio when I was twelve, went to school for game design. Now I work here and also on my own YouTube channel